A new time travel app, reviewed | MarketingwithAnoy

“Car après la mort le Temps se retire du corps …” —Proust

We all know that at present, where the time-reversal invariance that governs statistical mechanics at the micro-level maps the macro-world using a simple equation, making “time travel” a completely unsurprising possibility…but damn! The first time you go back there is just nothing like it.

I know all these first-person accounts of ChronoSwooping have become a cliché here at Substack, where, let’s face it, anyone can write pretty much anything they want, no matter how self-indulgent and derivative. Nevertheless, I believe that I have some unusual insights to share, derived from my own experience, but which may provide some general lessons about the nature and significance of time travel, both the original and long-forbidden “body-transit”- method as well as the newer and more streamlined ChronoSwoop.

This is not only because I spent some years in the archives of the Stadzbybliotiēka of the Margravate of East K****, scrutinizing the notebooks where Quast first landed on the Quast equation, while at the same time noting various philosophical reflections on the Nature of ​​Divine Tempus – as he called it – that has been largely neglected by other researchers. It’s also because I’ve used the ChronoSwoop app in ways expressly prohibited by its creators, and indeed by the federal government. In light of this, while I am writing this product review for Substack and in the new “Substack style”, until the law changes or I deviate permanently from the chronological present, I will only post this piece on the Hinternet-based Substack oglinda (Romanian for “looking-glass,” a hacking neologism supposedly coined by Guccifer 3.0), which I’m told is undetectable, remains completely unknown even to the original company’s founders. Fingers crossed.

Perhaps some readers of this oglinda would appreciate a brief summary of what has happened in the time travel world since Quast first came up with his equation in 1962. I don’t know what kind of information has been circulating down here and I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to feel left out.

The early 1960s witnessed great leaps forward not only in time travel technology, but also in the technology of teleportation—that is, dematerialization of the body and its rematerialization elsewhere, but without any measurable “metachrony.” By late 1966, poorly regulated teleporters had begun to appear on the state fairgrounds, tempting daredevils to increasingly foolish stunts. But this practice was curtailed the very next year when Roy Bouwsma, aka the “Omaha Kid”, expecting to reappear kneeling in front of his girlfriend Deb in the barn with a ring in hand, was instead rematerialized with the barn door cutting straight through . the center of his body from groin to skull—one half of him flops down at Deb’s feet, the other half falls, like a neat bodily cross-section carefully crafted for anatomy students, into the barn with Deb’s confused horse Clem.

But while this gruesome moment, broadcast live on KMTV, nipped the new craze in the bud, the technology behind it had already been adapted for use in what was then called “Tempus-Gliding,” which merely had the apparent advantage of hiding from them. in the present any potential accident in the rematerialization of the journey to the past. Of course, accidents continued to happen, and news of them eventually came back from the past to the present, bringing about all sorts of well-known paradoxes in the space-time continuum. Tempus-Gliding, like any metachronous technology that relies on body transport, was a door thrown wide open for all the crazy scenarios we know from the time travel tropes of science fiction going back at least to HG Wells: adults , who return to the past and to meet themselves as children, to meet their parents before they were even born, to have themselves never born and then suddenly disappear, and so on. By the late 1960s, people, and sometimes entire families, entire lineages, were disappearing as a daily occurrence (just remember the 1969 Harris family reunion in Provo!). One could hardly ever say exactly why, since the traveler to the past who would unwittingly wipe out all his descendants often still, in the present, had ever tried Tempus-Gliding.

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